Note to Guys on Jdate
Or any other online dating service, I would imagine. This is one girl's opinion on what should and should not be in your photo(s):
1. Hat and sunglasses: what are you hiding? Are you an undercover celebrity?
2. Pets are OK, kids are not (unless you are willing to admit they're your own).
3. Tux: you must have a decent photo of yourself other thatn the one from your cousin's wedding.
4. Professional headshot: not cool, unless you are in the entertainment business.
5.Even worse than other girls in your photo, are girls with their heads blacked out-reeeeaaallly creepy!
6. Cigarettes are OK (if you don't actually smoke), beer bottle is not (even if you drink).
7. One more thing: please, please, PLEASE keep your shirt on! You can show me your 6-pack at a later time.
If anyone has suggestions for female photos or profiles, please share.
posted by LizeCR @ 12:29 PM
5 Comments:
Some friends of mine were supposed to start a website for Asian girls and Jewish guys...
And now the democratic response.Ladies:
1. If your profile begins thus, "I'm [X], [Y], and [Z]," where X, Y, and Z are adjectives, start over.
2. No one, NO ONE, is as comfortable in a ball gown or cocktail dress as in jeans.
3. When you write, "I'll try anything once," men read, "I will take in the butt." When you add ;) it means that the guy can bring a friend.
4. Your photo should not show you with a more attractive woman. I mean duh.
5. So you're "laid back," are you? Tell you what: if I get laid, you'll get laid back. Deal?
5. If you use the word "amazing" or "incredible," you should next do two things. First, get a dictionary. Then, hit yourself in the face with it.
6. Your friends are important to you? Really? Is that why they're your friends, and not, say, strangers?
7. You do not like sports. Don't even.
8. Sarcasm = defense mechanism. A woman who suggests that she's looking for a sarcastic man is saying that she has given up on finding a man who will treat her with respect. A woman who is proud of her own sarcasm is unwittingly witless.
9. Hypertechnically, "voluptuous" does not mean fat, but really it does.
10. Lern how too spel.
I'm 0 for 10! I am the ideal jdate girl! If I were on jdate... Let me check the spelling in my hypothetical profile again....
So, you're going to have the last word on every post, are you, Lisa? Fair enough: it's your blog. And that's why I have my own....
I feel compelled to add another half-dozen tidbits of advice for the aspiring online (J-)dater:
11. Definately is spelt "definitely." In any event, there are few good reasons to use the word definitely. If you're in your late twenties or early thirties, you aren't definite about anything, though many of you are definitely going to be single for a while longer.
12. So, you love New York City, do you? Like, ohmigod! NYC is the best! This city rocks! You enjoy experiencing all this great city has to offer? Like homelessness and disease and poverty? Like congestion and contagion? Or did you mean me?
13. On a related note, if you're actually from Hoboken or Jersey City, your username should not include the letters 'nyc.' You're not fooling anyone.
14. Less *than*; different *from*.
15. No throat-clearing. Are you the POTUS? ("My fellow Americans, I come before you tonight....") Get. to. the. point.
16. If your profile begins, "I had success on this site before..." you're in really bad shape. If you can't perceive why that is a huge turnoff, not even I can help you.
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