Survey

To all you Generation Y geeks out there, including admittedly former geeks who are likely current closet geeks, how many of you think you would have been more popular in high school if you had Instant Messenger back then? I am convinced that my IM writing skills are superior to my oral communication skills, at least as a first impression. IM probably would have done wonders for my social life during my vulnerable teenage years. I am curious to know what others of you out there think.

Greetings from Montreal

I haven't written in a while due to Shabbos and Pesach, but last night I started a post and left it overnight because I wasn't feeling well, and when I finished it this morning, I found out too late that Blogger had logged me out, and my post was lost forever! I will try to replicate what I wrote now:

I am staying in Montreal until the end of Pesach. It is interesting that after living in New York for three and half years, Montreal seems so quaint, despite the fact that it is a metropolis. When I get off the plane I always notice how fragrant the air is. In my old bedroom at night, my ears ring from the silence (now they're ringing because they're filled with fluid, but even when I'm well this holds true). Last night, walking home from the local JCC, I witnessed a beautiful sunset over the houses and trees of Hampstead. I don't know that I will ever move back here, but I have a new appreciation for my hometown. It has become somewhat of a haven for me from my New York City life.

Mmmmm.... Matzah......

After a stressful week, I am off to Montreal to spend Pesach (Passover) with my family. All my siblings will be home, and I can't wait to spend time with my niece and nephews. Pesach was my favorite holiday growing up. I didn't miss the bread, and I liked the different foods made with matzah and eating off of different dishes. My best memories of Pesach though are from the years we spent the holiday at the Concord, a resort hotel in the Catskills. That place was like a city! You did not have to leave the building the enitre eight days. There was so much to do- indoor swimming pool and skating rink (outdoor too but only in season), huge arcade (Dragon's Lair and Marble Madness), ping pong, tennis courts, boxing ring (I would have loved that today!), shows every night, disco- there was an artist in one of the lobbies painting portraits, and a photographer going aroung taking pictures to put in those little peep-hole keychains. Most importantly, though, the food was awesome-every night there was steak or roast beef, and the desserts were amazing- you would never be able to tell the cake was kosher for Passover.

Once the oldest of us started college and no longer had vacation for the whole holiday, we stopped going. The Concord hotel has since shut down. My grandparents still go with my uncle, aunt, and cousins to another hotel in the Catskills, but they'll admit it's not the same. These days, most families go jet-setting on some exotic Passover getaway. I wish we could go back to the good ole' days!

I Want an Answer!

When I wake up to find the internet is not working, and I call Time Warner to help, and all the woman on the phone can do is read off a paper to tell me to plug my computer directly into the modem and test the connection, and the connection is working (which I already knew), and I say it's a problem with the router, and she says they don't deal with router problems, and so I call Vonage from whom I got the router, and the man on the phone tells me to hold the reset button, and then I'm still not connected, so he has me open my browser and type in my IP address and enable MAC clone (I have no idea what that does), and it freezes on a message that the router is restarting, but the internet begins to work again anyway, when I ask him what the problem was with the router, why does he simply give a little chuckle and say that the router is now "working like new," as if my question was somehow inappropriate? It is as if I asked him where babies come from, although in this case I am pretty sure he does not know the answer any better than I do!

JDate Revisited

OK, here are some more jdate tips (look into my past postings for the first set). Recommendations for when you should and should not be logged into jdate:

1. Don't log in on Saturday after 8 pm, when you should be out or at least preparing to go out(this is more for your own reputation than for the pathetic losers you are likely to encounter at this time, because only pathetic losers have no plans on a Saturday night.)

2. Do log in Sunday morning after 11 am, when people are waking up after their late night out but are feeling forlorn because it was an "unsuccessful expedition."

3. Don't log in on weekend afternoons, when you should be out enjoying the day (unless you're a student like me, who has to sit in front of her computer but likes to procrastinate.)

4. If you're looking for an observant mate, I wouldn't recommend logging in on a Friday night or Saturday (for Shabbat starting and ending times around the world, visit www.chabad.org)

5. Don't log in on a weekday, unless you're looking for someone who is unemployed or who is looking to quit or get fired by neglecting to do their job.

6.Do log in on a weeknight, at around 10 pm, when people are settling down from the stressful day and you can have their undivided attention.

7. Don't stay on too late- at about 1 pm, the pervs and stalkers log on!

This list is obviously from a female perspective; if any men would like to share their thoughts on jdate login times, please feel free to comment.

Better

So I'm feeling much better today. In part because of all the interesting replies I got, both privately and on the blog. I'm sure you all realised I wasn't serious; this was simply my method of catharsis, kind of like taking a large swig of magnesium citrate. So not to worry, I won't do anything rash. However, I have been experiencing bouts of self-destructiveness lately, like eating cucumber with the peel still on and stepping over the yellow line on the subway platform. Hopefully this risk-taking behavior will subside...

Two Weeks Notice

Yup, I resign. Not from my job, but from life. I give up. I've put in a good 29 years, and I feel I've given it my all. But there comes a time when one gets really tired, exhausted, and wants to call it quits. So you all have two weeks to say your goodbyes (if you care to do so), at which time I will commit mental suicide by locking myself in my bedroom and watching TV 24 hours a day. You might want to use the next two weeks to talk me out of this fate I have chosen for myself, but you better have a damn good alternative plan!

Pet Peeve

You know what really bothers me? When the subway is packed, yet the closest pole I can grab onto has someone leaning on it. They're practically lying on it as if it was their upright bed! Come to think of it, there have been times when my fingers have been crushed into submission by a pole-leaner, leading me to pry my hand from between flesh and metal, despite the fact that I was there first! Next time, I am going to make my unsupported self fall on that pole-leaner, even if it means forcing myself to fall in the wrong direction!

Death by Babka

I send out the following warning to those I care about, namely all of you: Beware the lethal combination of being in a pissed-off mood and a couple of chocolate babkas brought home by your roommate. This toxic mixture, if it doesn't kill you, will cause profuse night sweats and disturbing dreams. Also, if your dysthymia continues the following day, you will experience withdrawal symptoms causing you to open the next babka, as all that remains of the first one is an empty plastic container with a few crumbs (it wasn't just me, I promise!) Under certain conditions, babka can kill you! But there is help: call Babkaholics Anonymous at 1-800-big-butt. BA saved my life.

A Jog in the Park

I went running aroung the big loop in Central Park today. Because it was Shabbos, I couldn't take my iPod with me, so I decided to appreciate what was going on around me instead. Going down the west side, I listened to the birds chirping, the musicians playing jazz, people's conversations,"...the doctor said it the Altoids, stop eating Altoids..." I felt the sun beating on me, and the cool wind that came to relieve the heat. Coming back up the east side, I smelled the fragrant lilac trees which recently blossomed. I was surprised to meet a guy from my boxing class, and we ran the rest of the way together, which made the uphill part near 110th street much more bearable. But I must admit, the best part of the jog was the fact that while about five men passed me, I don't think a single woman did. Enough gloating. I recommend everyone take a jog in the park.

Topic for Conversation

Here is an important take-home message straight from one of my core courses in Public Health. I will use the words (and voice) of Mike Meyers playing Linda Richman to relay the information: "Sociomedical science is neither medical nor a science. Discuss amongst yourselves."

Who Wants Brownie Points?

During a heated email insult-a-thon, after my mentioning loss of brownie points, it was brought to my attention that one cannot lose brownie points, only win them, as do the young Girl Scout Brownies, from whom this expression is derived. I, being Canadian, and not having seen let alone tasted a girl scout cookie until about three years ago, do not know much about Girl Scout rules (I really don't know anything about the Canadian equivalent Girl Guide rules, either). Is there anyone who can help settle the issue of whether it is indeed possible to lose brownie points? You will get chocolate chip cookie points from me, regardless of the truth!

It's official. I have a deformity (likely congenital) of my right pinna. For some reason, my right ear can't hold the iPod headphone very well (the left one seems to be OK). Should I notify apple that they are discriminating against those of us who are audio-equipment challenged? Will they send me a free set of custom-made headphones, or at least a set with a headband? I don't want to miss out on the full iPod experience!

Acknowledgements: I would like to thank Matthew for pre-approving the idea for this blog posting. I couldn't have done it without you!