Even if You Are Not a Coffee Connoisseur

I recommend you try coffee from Costa Rica. I am not sure how this stuff ended up in our freezer- possibly from when my former roommate went to a wedding in Costa Rica two years ago, but it is definitely the best (unflavored) coffee I have ever had. It tastes a bit like chocolate. I admit, I still need to add milk and sugar or sweetener, but black coffee makes me gag. Also, whereas coffee usually has the paradoxical effect of putting me to sleep, this coffee gave me such a buzz that I felt I had enough energy to conquer the world. Okay, maybe not the world, but I did begin to tackle my new rommate's CD collection for downloading onto iTunes. That's no small feat!

Old Faces

Something very strange has been happening to me over the last few months. I have been having recurring dreams involving friends from my childhood. At first it was just school friends, but now it's camp friends too! What's really disturbing is there is always something bad going on in their lives- like they have cancer or are getting divorced. Even though I'm not disturbed by these occurrences within my dream, I am when I wake up. I wonder what these dreams signify.

Something I've Noticed

It is a well known fact that Jewish guys tend to have an Asian girl fetish. But has anyone ever taken note that Indian guys have a thing for Jewish girls? I wonder why that is. There must be some genetic reason underlying both these attractions. Any ideas?

To the Happy Couple

There are a few things I don't understand about couples who are getting married. Like why they expect to be lavished with praise and attention by friends and family when they should be giving those things to each other. And why they should make their parties and even the wedding itself at the most inconvenient times, like smack in the middle of a Sunday or on a holiday weekend, yet still expect you to be there. And why they expect you to buy them fancy gifts, when they could have forgone the shmancy reception and could have used the money they saved to buy their own damn china. Shouldn't weddings be about love and starting a life together, rather than being the stars of a show?

Closer...

...to crap than any movie I've seen a while (and I just saw Jersey Girl, or attempted to watch it, anyway). I don't regret having missed the first 45 minutes while I drank tea and chatted with friends on IM. I mean, the acting was good, and I love Jude Law, but there's only so much "you suck, why don't you love me?" a person can take! For some reason, the DVD suddenly froze, and my roommate couldn't find the necessary DVD remote. No loss there. If anyone has any good movies to suggest, it would be much appreciated.

Cornspiracy

Have you ever noticed that just about everyting we eat in this country has corn in it? Just look at the ingredients label. Every cereal has a substantial amount of corn flour (Golden Grahams-isn't graham a type of wheat?), anything sweet gets that way because of high-fructose corn syrup. Corn meal, corn starch, corn oil- is all this corn in our diet healthy? Is the surplus of corn in the US causing a severe of imbalance of grains in our diet? Is corn really even a grain? It's kind of a vegetable too. Anyway, all I am trying to say is that if you want to diversify the grains your diet, you might have to go to Asia (rice, anyone?)

What Not to Wear

Watching a guy walk down the street in white pants today, I was inspired to write a piece on what clothing items men should not be wearing. This is just the humble opinion of a lone woman with minimal (no) experience in the fashion industry, so you men out there might want to take this advice with a grain of salt (but make it kosher salt):

1. White pants
2. White shorts (unless you're playing tennis, but even then...)
3. Leather pants
4. Leather shorts
5. Turtleneck tops (mockneck topsare OK)
6. Cowlneck tops (do those even exist for men?)
7. Mesh tops (or any other see-thru item)
8. Cowboy boots (or any other pointed-toe footwear)
9. Speedo swimsuit (unless you're doing laps, but even then...)
10. Animal prints (unless you're playing out some pathetic fantasy with your girlfriend)

Hope this helps you catch the babes!

Jogging in the Park, Part III

Okay, this was not only my third time jogging in the park, but something interesting (annoying) did happen on my jog today. Soon after rounding the southest corner of the loop (or Horsecrap Bend, as I like to think of it) I passed a girl who was going at nearly the same speed I was. A few seconds later she zoomed past me, practically sprinting, obviously to get ahead of me in retaliation, kicking horsecrap in my face in the process (honestly, it could have been any other number of joggers, or even the wind, that send the dung to fly flying into my eyes, but I prefer to think of this girl as the perpetrator to add drama to my story).

Why must people be so competitive? Is there a finish line somewhere that I don't know about, where they give you a blue ribbon and a Snapple from one of the vendors for winning the Monday Evening Race in the Park? In any case, Ms. Speedy remained closely ahead of me, but then must have veered off the loop because I lost her all of the sudden. I bet she didn't run the entire 6.2 miles in under 52 minutes like I did! Ha!

Tip the Cashier?

This morning, upon purchasing my staples for the office (i.e., coffee, diet soda, and gum), I received 5 cents in change from the cashier. I put the coin into the large paper cup saying "tips", in black marker, I think. I felt a little guilty, maybe even embarrassed, about putting in such a measly amount of money, but then I thought to myself, why tip a cashier anyway? When did that start? It's not like they're doing anything special for me to be deserving of a gratuity, like a waitress who takes 5 hours to give me the wrong order, or a cabbie who thoughtfully takes me on a narrow path between a truck and bus and brings carsickness to new heights. These people are just taking my money!

I must admit though, the cashiers at this store are really quick and efficient, to the point that they make me so anxious that they end up waiting impatiently while I nervously fumble for my change. If only these cashiers could start working at Rite Aid- the world would then be a better place.

Spamelot?

Anyone got an extra ticket laying around? I would reeeeeaaaaallllly like to see this Broadway production, and with the original cast, if at all possible. Why can't I have "connections" to someone important who has access to sought-after tickets, like everyone else I know? Why can't I bump into Hank Azaria on the street and have him fall instantly and madly in love with me, compelling him to give me a front row seat for every night he's in the show? That would be so cool....

I'm Getting Old!

Yesterday, in an attempt to keep up with my 4 1/2-year-old nephew, I did two things that a person pushing 30, no matter how in-shape, should think twice before attempting to do:

1. I did a cartwheel. It felt like I did it right- I landed on my feet, but I pulled something in my groin. My nephew also wasn't overly impressed, as he commented that my legs were not straight up over my head, to which I replied that he didn't do such a great job with his cartwheel either.
2. I swung on a swing. Man, are those things nauseating! The suspending chains were so narrowly spaced that my arms got tired. That, combined with my queasiness, made me slow down and come to a stop. This upset my nephew, as he liked having me swing beside him, so I had to start swinging and stirring up that queasy feeling again.

Thank goodness I am in one piece, but I realize that certain activities are meant for small, possibly even young, bodies (I'm not even 5'2", after all!)